How I Gained Freedom Through Marriage

Time and time again I hear individuals say upon finding out that I’m married, “oh, you’re so young!” “Don’t you want to live up your life and party?”  Or “Why would you give up your freedom?” Let me share with you that the truth of the matter is, I didn’t give up any freedom.  If anything, I gained more.  We’ve all heard the joke that marriage is like a ball and chain but I view it as anything but that.  My husband helps me find ultimate happiness and freedom.  By saying this I don’t mean that mine or his happiness is dependent on one another but rather together we make each other better.  Marriage has allowed me to have more freedom by how much it has taught and changed me. Here are some ways marriage has liberated me.

Marriage has taught me to laugh often

Marriage isn’t easy and there will certainly be times your spouse will do or say something that annoys you. In one incidence after complaining to my husband that he needed to put the toilet seat down, I thought I’d be funny and put a couple of bright, shiny tacks on the toilet seat.  They were VERY obvious (I didn’t want him to sit on it *OUCH*…Just to see it and laugh) BUT it got my point across. PUT THE SEAT DOWN.  We both laughed so hard and you know what? He always puts the toilet seat down.  Over time I’ve learned to take little annoyances and laugh at them (maybe roll my eyes) but nonetheless move on.   Life is too sweet to waste time nit picking.  Just laugh it off.  Marriage has liberated me by learning to loosen up.

Marriage has taught me to try harder and forgive

Marriage is not just a piece of paper.  If you view it like that then that is what you will precisely have but it can be so much more.  It’s about thinking of someone else’s needs.  It’s about giving 100% to someone else and loving them.  It’s about giving up the need to be right.  It’s about speaking kind words.  It’s about saying ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I forgive you’ when someone falls short because the fact is, you will both fall short.  These words should be spoken often and sincerely.  Communicate your feelings often and kindly. Marriage is about building one another.  It’s about speaking positively.  If this isn’t done, barriers will be built, resentment will grow and the marriage will suffer. Be supportive and forgive your spouse for their shortcomings because you certainly have them too.  Marriage has liberated me by teaching me to let go of pride.

Marriage has taught me to serve unconditionally

It wasn’t until getting married that I realized how selfish I really am.  I would get upset over little things and realized that my happiness shouldn’t be dependent on what my husband or anyone else does FOR ME but it’s about what I DO for others.  It’s about looking around and saying what I can do to make my spouse’s day better.  It’s impossible to be unhappy while serving.  Marriage has liberated me by teaching me selflessness.

Marriage has taught me that there is happiness anywhere you look for it.

Ever heard the proverb that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?  The same applies to happiness.  Happiness is in the eye of the beholder.  Two people in the same circumstance can have different outlooks on life because they can choose happiness or misery.  There will still be pain and trials at times but your outlook on life and your relationship will improve.  **Please note that I am not dismissing that sometimes a marriage doesn’t work in some circumstances.  There are a variety of factors that can play into that.  Some of which are out of a person’s control but when both parties are willing and committed, you can overcome anything and be happy.

Marriage has made me a better person.  It has freed me from many selfish tendencies.  I’m not saying that a person who never gets married can’t learn this or is doomed to be selfish and miserable because that certainly isn’t true! However for ME, it has made my life better.  I am still overcoming flaws and so is my husband but together we make a great team by supporting, serving and loving each other.  Marriage has liberated me by showing me true joy.

Marriage is not about giving up freedom.  It’s about giving up pride. It’s about becoming more selfless.  It’s about being a family who makes mistakes but loves each other unconditionally. So I’d have to say I’ve gained everything because marriage is liberating.